by Gary McKendrick | Dec 14, 2017 | Blog
Focus on what you have TO GAIN.
8 years ago today, the 13th December 2009, I made the one decision that dramatically changed my life for the better.
On that day I was 33 yrs old and extremely hungover. I felt broken, lonely, angry and full of self-loathing. Unfit in mind & body, twice divorced, in a job I hated and just in a vicious cycle of sedation and escapism. Spiralling deeper. Never dealing with the real issues. I sat and cried.
So I decided to give up alcohol for good.
It wasn’t as easy as I thought but it’s been so worth it to get to here today. It got worse before it got better; it took a year’s worth of Cognitive Behaviour Therapy; I got to know the real me and my real friends and supporters.
Today I have been alcohol-free for 8yrs. I am happily married with two kids. I have a thriving asbestos business with an excellent team who make me proud. I am the fittest in mind & body I have ever been at 41. And I continue to learn, improve and make progress.
In 2017 it even led me to public speaking about men’s mental health issues and addiction. And also doing business coaching to help others overcome the struggles I have in life and business.
The domino effect of just one decision is incredible. Literally, life-changing.
My point: if you’re unhappy about anything in your life, YOU have the power to change it.
Don’t make excuses or blame; just do the work and get on with creating a life you deserve.
Delayed gratification is the game.
Easy choices = Hard life
Hard choices = Easy life
Here to help if you need it.
by Gary McKendrick | Dec 9, 2017 | Blog
People often talk about being Overwhelmed.
Overwhelmed with life, with work, with people sapping our time, energy, confidence or money, with having no time and too much to do, or emotional overwhelm for things that have happened in the past, or things you worry about now or about future events.
We allow ourselves to become overwhelmed and drown in “stuff”.
With some simple decision making, you can change everything you are overwhelmed about.
You decide what overwhelms you, you allow it to, so you can decide to not let it overwhelm you. Of course, it’s not easy at first; you’ve only gone and conditioned yourself to be you and you know no other way. You can’t just re-condition yourself with the click of your fingers. But you make that one decision that you are not going to allow yourself to become overwhelmed and you seek the knowledge and help you need to change.
I was once overwhelmed with lack of confidence, poor body image and low self-worth. I suffered panic attacks and couldn’t look in mirrors. I coped by drinking. A lot. But at age 33 I made that one decision that this was not a healthy happy life. I stopped drinking, I failed. I stopped again. I read books, started exercising, got some cognitive behaviour therapy and radically changed my self and my life. On 13th December 2017, I will be 8 years clean, sober and happy.
Overwhelmed doesn’t have to be the norm.
The other “whelmed” that I think people don’t recognise enough or take enough action to change, is feeling Underwhelmed.
If you feel underwhelmed with life, work, people, events or you lack positive emotions about life in general or your self, then you need to recognise this and take action so that you’re stimulated and interested in living. Sleep-walking through life is not a fulfilling life. We need to be fully engaged in living this magical thing called life.
Underwhelmed doesn’t have to be the norm either.
Remember you have created the life you are currently living. Even the things that are outside of your control, you control how you think and react. Overcoming your biggest pains, struggles and challenges can become your biggest strength. This strength empowers you and you can use it to help others going through similar struggles.
Which whelmed are you? And what decision are you going to make to change it?
by Gary McKendrick | Dec 9, 2017 | Blog
There’s a statement and a half for all the LOA believers.
I can almost hear the shouts of “Yes it does, I can prove it, I wanted a cat in my life and a stray turned up at my door, or I just went and bought one from Pets At Home”.
Now, let me clarify exactly what I mean when I say the Law of Attraction doesn’t work.
What I actually mean is…..
The Law Of Attraction doesn’t work ON ITS OWN. It has two best mates.
It firstly takes some effort, some work, some thoughts, beliefs, some energy and some ACTION. Some action on the specific outcome/thing/result you desire. Knowing what you want and having a plan of action to get it. And doing the work.
So Mate 1 is the Law Of ACTION.
Then once you have started taking said action, things start to happen, you start to feel the potential, then start to see results, so you keep taking action, you increase the focus and intensity. Then things get easier and almost take on a life of their own. You have gained traction.
So Mate 2 is the Law Of TRACTION.
It’s all there. Attraction is made up of Action and Traction.
So don’t just wish for something and expect unicorns. You need a plan; to actually go out and buy a horse, strap a horn on its head and there’s your unicorn. Then hire it out for children’s parties and it gains traction and your new business of hosting children’s parties takes off.
The Law Of Attraction is more than wishful thinking.
by Gary McKendrick | Dec 2, 2017 | Blog
Are you delivering a £31.875 experience or a £89 experience?
In business, we’ve got to consider if what we’re charging is in proportion to what we’re delivering.
If you’re charging a premium price, are you delivering a premium service or product? If you’re charging peanuts, are you delivering a low-end service/product too?
And if you’re offering discounts and promotions of any kind; what is the objective behind it? Do you just want to attract more customers (of the ‘any will do’ category) or are you targeting your ideal customer (do you even know who your ideal customer is?).
Often we lower our prices to get new customers however you have just de-valued your product or service there. And you will likely begrudge delivering it for that low price. Recipe for disaster for you and your customer. Unless you have lowered your price for a guaranteed volume of work however you still must make a profit and deliver greatness.
A clever and well-executed promotion can pay off hugely. You can run a promotion with discounted prices and you then deliver such an incredibly positive experience that your new customer becomes a loyal fan who is happy to return and pay full price and tell others all about you.
I’m on this subject as, yesterday I treated Mrs McK and I to a Spa Day at a local establishment in Newcastle, the Village Hotel chain. You’ve got to value and invest time in ourselves and our relationships so a day off work was booked and I looked for somewhere to go. I discovered a deal on Groupon for this Spa Day at £75 for both of us, then got a further (Black Friday) 15% discount bringing the price to £63.75. So that’s £31.875 each. What a bargain I thought, I’m having that. I was also aware that you get what you pay for, however knowing the facilities of Village Hotels from others I’ve used, I figured it should be a fairly good experience. I figured they must be discounting it to get people through the doors, wow them and get them to return again being happy to pay full price.
Oh no, nothing like that at all.
The experience was average overall and I would not return there for a spa day. So what have the Spa achieved? They got two new people into their ‘shop’, with a chance to shine but we walked away with no intention to return and no intention of telling anyone else to go there. The discounted offer has back-fired massively for them.
Or perhaps this is how every client feels, even the ones paying full price?
Now let’s get specific. On arrival, we were greeted with a false smiling bluntness from the girl on the desk, her favourite phrase being “that’s perfectly fine”. It felt like Groupon customers were lepers! Or is this her general demeanor for all clients? We were late to be fair (45mins) due to traffic but that’s no reason to treat customers any different and we were told that we’d now missed an hour of treatment and given no alternatives. When we asked for an alternative, there was magically an option available. So quite a blunt unhelpful attitude.
We were asked to sit and fill in a form which was fine and standard procedure in a spa. “I’ll bring you a pen”. No pen arrived. Ever. Sat there just looking at a wonky form that’d been photocopied a million times, stuck to a broken plastic clipboard. The little details really do count when trying to create a wonderful experience. Just as well we had our own pen in our bag. You may think this petty, but it’s the little things that count is my point.
We weren’t given a guided tour of the facilities at all; very much a ‘here’s your towel, here’s a padlock for the locker, now get on with it’. The guys in the gym were no help either on this. The team working together to create an experience isn’t on the agenda here.
The swimming pool area was cold, no real warmth or relaxing atmosphere to it. The staff were wandering about looking fairly sullen. And it’s the little things that make an impact for me; the staff not wearing the blue overshoes around the pool area and scruffy marks, dust and a general ‘everything needs a good clean’.
On the plus side, the lovely lady who did our treatments (Anna) was a star, such a good soul and she delivered a positive experience. Also, the food and service in the bar upstairs were great. And there was a Starbucks and the staff in there (especially Rob) were brilliant – they all know customer service and creating an experience.
So bringing me to my point, this blog isn’t just a rant from me; I actually still enjoyed the day and just got on with it, we make it what we want don’t we. If I wanted to have a bad day then I would have. But I wanted a good day so I had one – I had a day off work, with the wife, I was massaged, then relaxed, ate well, met some lovely people, had quality time with the wife, had a good workout and came home feeling good.
But the situation simply got me thinking. What are we doing every day to ensure we aren’t doing ourselves a disservice. Have we got the best people representing our business; do you employ ambassadors for your company? Have you trained them in customer service? Do you ask for feedback from customers? If you got average or negative feedback, would you listen to it and change anything? If you got positive feedback, would you thank/praise/celebrate with the staff?
Are your promotions actually de-valuing and doing damage to your business?
Or have you simply got people in your business who are causing damage, little by little, every day, with the team and your clients? Little subtle things you might shrug off when / if you do notice but the compound effect is causing you massive damage in the long run.
Take a look at your team.
Take a look at the experience you are delivering.
But also remember, you won’t get it right 100% of the time. Sometimes a client’s expectations are quite difficult to meet, especially one driven by price who expects a premium experience but doesn’t want to pay for it.
I certainly wasn’t expecting a Seaham Hall experience for £31.875 each. No, Seaham Hall spa days are £89 each but they are absolutely fantastic. They know how to do it. So the next time I have a spa day (and I’ve got one scheduled) it will be at Seaham Hall.
Or sometimes, regardless of price, things can just go wrong – we simply need to stop, investigate, refine & tweak our experience so that we don’t repeat it with others. How we deal with negative feedback can make or break the relationship. Poor feedback is the chance to improve; if you want to.
Or you could just keep lowering your prices, attracting new customers, delivering an average at best experience (or perfectly fine!) and the vicious cycle continues. Result = a stagnant business going nowhere.
“Perfectly fine” therefore is not good. The young lady on the desk summed up the whole experience in everything she repeatedly says and does. Perfectly fine (or average). Fine does not drive your business forward and achieve success.
Perfectly fine needs to be perfectly positive and wonderful; getting it right at every touchpoint; wowing your clients and turning them into raving lunatic fans. And if something goes wrong, you deal with it, learn from it and make improvements to keep wowing. And if a client’s expectations cant be met, then just shake hands and bid them a good day, you tried your best.
Start from the inside. Look at yourself and then your team. Look at your prices, look at your clients, look at the experience you deliver. Are they all aligned with long-term success? Or are you just dropping prices to get the work to survive? If yes, then this will ultimately kill you.
Aim to be perfectly excellent every time.
#heretohelp
by Gary McKendrick | Nov 19, 2017 | Blog
“This is space, it does not cooperate. At some point, everything’s going to go south on you, and you’re going to say, ‘this is it, this is how I am’.
Now you can either accept that or you can get to work. That’s all it is. You just begin.
You do the math, you solve one problem, then you solve the next one and then the next, and if you solve enough problems, you get to come home”
As quoted from The Martian. I watched it the other day, Matt Damon stuck on Mars; after an accident, his crew presumes he’s dead so they bugger off and leave him. To certain death by all accounts.
Until he calms down, comes up with some ideas, applies some logic, focus and comes up with a plan to achieve things he didn’t think were possible. He makes progress. He fails. He refines and tweaks and keeps taking action. His success gets wiped out. He starts again. He never gives up.
He learns to communicate in a different way so he can get help. He learns and develops new skills.
The weaker astronaut would have been doomed. But not Matt Damon; he was physically and mentally strong and knew what he wanted. He wanted to get home. His success was getting home
He says those words at the end of the film when he’s lecturing some trainee astronauts. It’s an epic take home to be applied to life; just replace the word ‘space’ with ‘life’.
“This is LIFE, it does not cooperate……now read it all again.
So what is your version of getting home? What does your “success” look like?
Questions:
- Do you even know what you want?
- Do you know how to get it?
- Are you physically fit enough to get it?
- Are you mentally fit enough to get it?
Or are you just a stranded astronaut getting up every day, existing in your own “space” and just hoping that a new day magically brings you what you want.
You are the answer and you have it within you to get ‘home’.
You are your problem and you are your solution. So get out of your own way and solve your problems.
#heretohelpifyouneedit
by Gary McKendrick | Nov 13, 2017 | Blog
It really is as simple as….
We have all CREATED the life that we are living today.
Your thoughts, beliefs, values, words, behaviours, habits, routines, reactions, environment – all yours.
Yes, there are things that are outside of our control, shit happens and life seems unfair at times BUT we can choose how we feel about it, how we think and how we act. This in itself creates a monumental shift in what happens next.
So, if you are unhappy or dissatisfied with something in your life, then you have the power to change this. Make things better.
It really is as simple as A, B, C.
A = Acceptance. Accept where you are right now and celebrate getting there – you’ve worked hard, you’ve done well so don’t beat yourself up okay. BUT know that you’re not 100% fulfilled or satisfied. Understand that things can be better and only YOU have the POWER to change this. Don’t dwell on the past, put your efforts into creating your new future.
B = Behaviours. Your new behaviours, your habits and routines, coupled with your thoughts and beliefs will bring you the improvements you desire. Do something different to get different results.
C = Commitment. Simply commit to doing the WORK, even when you don’t want to. This is ‘Interested’ versus ‘Committed‘. When you’re only interested, you’ll do the work when it’s convenient, when you can be bothered, when it feels easy, when you’ve got time. When you’re committed, you DO THE WORK every single day, no matter what, no excuses, you get up, dress up, show up and do the work.
ABC – keep it simple.
Remember to ask for help if you need it too.
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