Be An Expert In…..

by Gary McKendrick | Oct 4, 2018 | Blog

To be successful, you have to already be or get good at something, then make yourself habitually excellent, become an Expert.  

And when you’re an expert in something, you can use your skills to help others and generate an income (ie a business).   

The Expert can make it a sustainable business IF your skill serves any or all of these E’s:  

• Educates
• Entertains
• Enriches
• Enlightens
• Evolves
• Eradicates (a problem)

Whatever skill you have and whatever you do with it, you must practice, practice and practice. And keep learning and improving. And practicing. Constantly.  

“You are what you practice”

So you must first have the skills of an expert in your field. Keep on top of your game. Be an industry leader. Stand out from the crowd. Be known as the “Go-To-Guy”.  And you’ll do well.

But you must also practice the habits of success (or fulfilment, or happiness).

Be an expert in this thing called life.

Habits such as being a good kind person and treating people well.  

And being calm, cheerful, patient, persistent, positive, courageous and confident. Pushing yourself to do the things that make you feel uncomfortable; doing the things you’d rather avoid.  

Just be a good human being, help yourself be on point then help others.  

Don’t just aim to ‘get by’ or ‘get through’ something; aim to GET BETTER.  Commit to doing it well, finishing what you started and always learn.

Always aim to improve.  You are always a student. But the more you learn, the more you can become a teacher for others who are less ‘educated’.  

Remember to be the example you want to see, be the skilful expert and skilful practicer.  No one wants to employ an out of shape personal trainer; no one will take marriage advice from an adulterer; no one will take financial advice from a shabby homeless looking fella; no one trusts a liar.   

Happiness, success, fulfilment, satisfaction doesn’t just happen – they are created by you. An expert in life knows this and they work on it every day.

So, in any area of life, simply ask yourself:

1. “Am I further forward / better off than I was 3, 6 or 12 months ago?”
2. “If yes, where to next? What do I want now?”
3. “If no, why not? and am I happy not being further forward?”

You are the result of all your choices and habits.   Are you making good choices? Are your habits good? Are they moving you closer to what you want to be/do/have?

So start with your B’s? Consider your Body, Balance, Business and Bank:

• Body – your body & mind must be nurtured, not neglected. Value yourself and look after yourself. Sleep well, eat well, hydrate, exercise, rest, recover, relax & recharge.  Get fitter and stronger both physically and mentally.
• Balance – don’t be all work & no play.  Make time for work and make time for play. Schedule time off the radar to rest, reflect and have fun. Schedule time with loved ones (eg lunch, dates nights, dates with the kids, do the school run). Your people need you.  And you must be in the best state to serve your people.
• Business – create a proper business, not just ‘busyness’, chaos and overwhelm.  Or create a flourishing career. Whatever you choose, make it doing something you enjoy which improves your lifestyle and doesn’t turn you into a dry lifeless miserable husk.  
• Bank – making money is easy, the hard part is hanging on to it. Protect your purse. Be mindful of the difference of stuff you ‘need’ versus stuff you ‘want’.  Kill debts, don’t add to them. Stop unnecessary spending; you’ll be amazed at how much you save. Start creating wealth, safety and lowering money stress.

Remember, bad habits are easy. And easy choices are usually the bad ones.  

I want it now! Don’t be a Veruca

by Gary McKendrick | Jul 21, 2018 | Blog

What we want in life is not achieved by doing what we want to do.  

What we want in life is achieved by doing what we NEED TO DO.

And there is a huge difference in what you want to do and what you need to do.

So there lies the difference between success or failure in achieving whatever the outcome or the results you want. This applies to anything: your health, wealth, relationships, friends, family, career, emotional intelligence, spirituality, freedom, fulfilment, happiness, purpose etc    

The things we WANT to do are usually easy, fun, exciting, different; or quite often they’re just habitual and we do them even though we know they’re not particularly good habits (smoking, drinking, bingeing, laziness etc).  

The things we NEED to do are usually not easy, not fun, not exciting and they require huge amounts of self-discipline, effort, sweat, pain, focus and commitment to the desired end result or change. They are often not instant fixes and require a lot of patience and persistence.  

There lies the problem for the majority of people. They start with great enthusiasm, effort and motivation but then that quickly disappears.  You then must have the discipline to stick to doing what you NEED to do; not what you WANT to do.

If you’re trying to lose weight, it’s easier to do the things you want to do which, remember, got you the results you don’t want anymore. Like eat junk food, don’t exercise, don’t drink enough water, drink far too much alcohol, smoke, take drugs, survive on 5 hours sleep and excessive caffeine, etc. Feeling down = old habit reaches for junk food.  Or perhaps you feel like you need a ‘reward’ for not drinking for 3 days or for eating real non-processed food for 3 days; so you reward yourself with beer, wine or biscuits because you WANT to. You don’t need to. See the difference.

An example for me, I go to the gym 6 times a week; sometimes I feel like I’d rather not. BUT those are the times when you NEED to go the most. By having the discipline and commitment, this means I always beat my inner voice that tries to come up with the excuses for me not to do the things I need to do (staying in bed is tempting isn’t it?!). 

Or if you’re trying to save money and clear some debt; it’s easier to keep spending like you’ve got money on tap, buying stuff that you don’t need but it makes you feel better for like 3 minutes, then the guilt sets in, so just go and buy some more stuff. Vicious cycle repeats.  

So just do what you NEED to do, as THIS gets you what you WANT.  

Discipline and consistency with doing the simple things we NEED to do get us the results we want in the long run. Delayed gratification here.

By doing what you WANT to do, this actually gets you more of what you don’t want in the first place.

It’s as simple as ABC

A = Awareness: be aware of old habits and discipline yourself to do what you need to do

B = Believe: belief in yourself, you can do it, don’t listen to any naysayers; change is hard but focus on the process, not the end result, be consistent with doing the things you need to do and with patience, your results will arrive

C = Courage: have courage and confidence to try the new things. The inner voice wants you to stay in your comfort zone but you don’t like that place anymore, it doesn’t serve you now.  So, the more you do, the more experience you gain, the fear fades and your confidence soars and your results improve.

Hope this was useful; it’s a reminder to myself too.

Be Habitual. But Be Flexible

by Gary McKendrick | Jun 8, 2018 | Blog

Us humans are creatures of habit.  

Habits make us feel safe, we like routine and structure in everything, our thoughts, attitude, beliefs, words, behaviours and habits.  

Now let’s just assume your habits are insanely epic. You have a tremendous morning routine and evening routine.  

You prime yourself in the morning to own the day, then you reflect and decompress in the evening.  I have routines based on doing this. See my First Things First routine.http://www.garymckendrick.com/first-things-first/

• Fitness (moving/sweating/hydrate)
• Inner power (gratitude & meditation)
• Reading (erm… reading!)
• Scribing (journalling)
• Time (schedule the day)

Then in the evening, I reflect on the day, journal more and relax.  

These are powerful routines. The problems start when you feel the benefit, buzz from doing them, feel like it’s your key to continued success then life gets in the way every now and then. And you miss a habit.

Shiiiiiiitttttt, de-railed for the day. Just because you couldn’t get to the gym that day, or your kids got up while you were meditating, or you didn’t do your journal or read that day.  

With your habits, you must remember to be flexible. As in, don’t beat yourself up if you miss a habit one day, sometimes shit just happens, either fit it in later in the day or leave it out. Don’t let it ruin your day.

For example, for me this week, Thursday morning I started my 10mins meditation but then one of the kids came downstairs at 6.30am, I told her to go back to bed but she wouldn’t. So, I just adapted my routine to suit; I asked her if she wanted to try meditating with Daddy and we did, now it wasn’t the true meditation sesh I would get on my own but it was a peaceful time and a lovely moment with my 5yr old daughter Sophie.  So the habit was still completed AND a new experience was added. (which in my evening reflection, I put this as one of my 3 wins for the day). 

For Journals – I’ve tried all the journals and planners out there; from blank notebooks to expensive journals.  I have learnt that a good planner is one you use. I use my own, as in I took the best bits from all the ones I’ve bought and designed my own 13-week super planner which I had printed into hard-wired A5 books. I also have a 30-day version for those wanting to ease themselves in gently.   

Another fact to remember is that new habits take 66 days to form.  So if you can feel the benefits of new habits then keep persevering until they become automatic, a new lifestyle.  

Keep doing the little things, success is simple good habits repeated even when you don’t want to do them.  

Focus and Discipline.  

• Do the Work when you’re at work.
• Do the Gym when you’re at the gym.
• Be a father when you’re with your child.
• Know what I mean?

I see too many people not being present; allowing themselves to become distracted, being half arsed to the task at hand. And wondering why they’re making very slow progress or no progress. 

Focus on the task at hand, commit to it and discipline yourself to complete it very efficiently.  For example, just yesterday morning in the gym, I smashed through my 30minute routine as I do, but couldn’t help but notice a lass who spent all her time on her phone, transfixed to it.  She was sitting on all the machines, on her phone, just sitting doing nothing, tapping away on phone, then a few reps, not a sweat on her at all. I got a bit closer to watch her screen; all Facebook, Snapchat and Messenger.  What a complete waste of time and lack of effort.

Focus on the process, being present, being productive, being powerful in the moment.  

Focus on the task at hand, complete it with no distractions. That is the key to success.  

I want to……………..BUT

by Gary McKendrick | Jun 1, 2018 | Blog

In Durham, last weekend with the family, and we walked past a homeless guy.

Hayley, my wife, said that we should get him some food, great idea I thought and I was proud of her to suggest it too.

So I sat down right next to him, said hello and asked him what food he would like.

His answer:

“I’m not hungry mate, I’ll be honest, I just want alcohol. I’m an alcoholic”.

Now I did appreciate the honesty and I stayed and spoke to him for a bit.

He politely asked if I’d go and buy him some booze but I politely declined.

He told me about his life, his living arrangements, that he’d been an alcoholic for 24yrs, that he doesn’t see his child much, that he wants to get better and one day go into rehab but he CAN’T.

I told him about my struggles with alcohol and how I ended that part of my life 8.5yrs ago and things are so very different now. He said he wants to but CAN’T.

One day he’ll realise that if you tell yourself you CAN’T, then guess what, YOU CAN’T. Nothing will change.

But if you tell yourself YOU CAN. Then guess what, you summon the courage, the desire, the commitment to do the work. And things change. They get better. Slowly. But it gets better. A day at a time. Days turn into weeks then months then years. And that old version of you, that life, is no more.

Change is hard at the start,
Messy in the middle and
Beautiful at the end.

Don’t ever stay in a comfortable yet very painful rut of life. Get help. Do the work.

Back To Basics

by Gary McKendrick | May 14, 2018 | Blog

What to do when life becomes chaos or you’re just not happy with your results?

You’ve just got to get back to basics.

You have to re-align yourself and think about your current thoughts, attitude, habits and behaviours and how these have/are affecting your results in life.

B = Behaviours 
A = Attitude 
S = Smile 
I = Invest
C = Courage
S = Solitude