by Gary McKendrick | Dec 16, 2023 | Blog
Lingchi (which is Chinese for lingering death or slow slicing) was a horrendous torture method used for hundreds of years before finally being banned in 1905.
Google it and read the descriptions, it’s horrendous…
Anyway, we often think something ‘suddenly’ happens, but could the truth be that we killed it – with 1,000 cuts?
Just one more biscuit can’t hurt anyone. Suddenly you can’t fasten that middle button.
The relationship that suddenly deteriorates. Not because of one big fall-out, but 1,000 small criticisms and few compliments.
And from a business point of view; quality and customer service standards fall – just slightly. Suddenly the previously loyal customers are wooed to go elsewhere.
Or a restaurant saves a few quid on the quality of ingredients – good for the bottom line – then suddenly there are complaints and empty tables.
Or the manager who lets their ‘favourite’ get away with sloppy behaviour and suddenly has a problem in their whole team.
REMEMBER, it’s rarely one big thing that destroys something; it’s all the little things adding up; the intangible, the unsaid, unchallenged and micro which builds up to the macro.
Don’t let 1,000 cuts kill what’s important to you.
Fundamental change, in a helpful way or a harmful way, is a result of incremental things over time.
And suddenly, you’re either deemed an overnight success or in a terrible crisis.
So we must see it coming. We must recognise the problem before it becomes a crisis.
And also see what’s working, yet remain adaptable, so that you can maximise your successes.
Death by a thousand cuts OR Life Success by a thousand incremental things done consistently over time.
by Gary McKendrick | Nov 13, 2023 | Blog
I love an anagram to keep me right and to give me some solid reminders of the basics.
Here’s one I made up about the shape we get ourselves in.
It’s based upon 5 things that we very much control.
And if we give them all a lot more focus and attention, consistently, not just in the run up to a summer holiday or when we feel fat, then we’ll get ourselves into, and maintain a shape, that we’re far more proud of.
S = Sleep.
H = Hydration.
A = Activity.
P = Posture.
E = Eat.
They’re all so simple and self-explanatory really.
Sleep – Get a good nights sleep. Feeling tired, under-slept and low mood will make you feel crap, grumpy and more likely to eat crap. Get to bed earlier, that’s it. Get at least 7hrs sleep. Don’t fuel yourself on stimulants all day.
Hydrate – drink water. That’s it. When you feel hungry, drink water. Don’t wait until you’re thirsty, just hit at least 2litres a day. Of water. Not tea or coffee or fizzy drinks or Red-Bull.
Activity – Move your body. Movement really is the best medicine. It will make you feel better. Its hard to do when you just cant be arsed but go with how you WANT to feel, not how you already feel. You never regret the workout you do. ‘Activity’ can be anything, whatever you prefer, the gym, yoga, a walk, a run, rowing, cycling, boxing, just do something.
Posture – think about your posture during everything you do, bad posture will strain and mis-shape you. Notice how many people have ‘phone-neck’, where their head is bent down so much that their neck is almost horizontal. Stand tall, with head up and shoulders back. Get a decent bed/mattress and have good posture when you’re sat at your desk, in your car, on the sofa, and how you stand and walk. And when you’re active, think posture, and don’t injure yourself while trying to keep fit.
Eat – very obvious I know, just avoid being overfed and undernourished. You’re allowed some ‘treats’ of course, but eat fairly clean wholesome foods for say 80% of the time and you’ll be doing way better than most.
There you go, that’s it, very simple I know.
If you focus on these 5 things on a daily basis, give them your attention, then your shape will change for the better.
by Gary McKendrick | Jun 30, 2023 | Blog
We’re hardwired to see the problems, the threats, the dangers and the risks.
This is great for survival of course. But not so great when it’s all you see.
What you focus on grows. What you give your time, energy and attention to will grow.
Until all you see is relentless problems. You’re blindsided. You fail to see all you’ve achieved, all you’ve overcome and all the opportunities around you.
That person that used to rise and shine has long gone, you now just rise and whine.
And it’s not attractive to be around. Think about how it’s affecting you firstly and then think about how it affects those around you, at home and at work.
Remember this: having problems will be permanent in life. But one specific problem will never be permanent. You can find a way to overcome it or accept it and move on.
“Your biggest problem is that you think you shouldn’t have problems”.
And remember a lot of your problems started as great ideas. And you’ll ignore a problem until it becomes a crisis. So kill the monster while it’s a baby. Make sense? It’s far easier that way. Losing a tonne of weight is hard. Battling to prevent a divorce is hard. Fighting to save your job or business is hard. And it all could’ve been less hard if you saw the signs and took action.
Problems and adversities reveal the real you. So be the one that remains composed and unrattled. Be the one that faces them head on and deals with them. And in the process, you learn, grow and become stronger.
Easier said then done? Yes. There’s some hardcore problems in life to deal with. But with the right mindset and support, you’ll build your resilience and keep growing.
Or you could just remain a victim or a villain.
There’s an excellent book by Donald Miller, called ‘Hero on a Mission: A Path to a Meaningful Life’. He says that in life we choose to play the character of either:
1. The Victim
2. The Villain
3. The Hero
4. The Guide
So choose to be your own hero. And then show others, guide them.
Or stay stuck on the pitty-potty or angry with the world.
Your choice…
by Gary McKendrick | Jun 30, 2023 | Blog
When you don’t put in the required effort it’s called being half arsed isn’t it.
Where in life are you half-arsing it?
• Your fitness & physique
• As a parent
• As a partner
• Your work/career
• As a friend
• As a brother or sister
How often do you say “I can’t be arsed”?
These words are so often said that they’ve been shortened to CBA.
You’ll never get the results you want by being half arsed.
Life needs full arse!!
If you give full arse to:
• Your fitness and wellness
• Your family
• Your friends
• Your work
then you’ll get the results you’ve never had before.
You’ll start to feel great in yourself, you’ll have more meaningful relationships and you’ll make some progress at work too. You’ll start to realise how stuck you were and what can make you happier. You’ll have more good days than bad.
The trick is to give full arse even when you CBA.
But if you keep allowing yourself to be won over by the CBA voice then you’ll always feel stuck, disappointed, dissatisfied, unfulfilled and unhappy.
A half arsed approach will only result in:
• Fatness and illness
• Poor relationships with your family and friends • Stagnant work prospects
However if you’re willing to consistently do what only the very few are willing to do, then you’ll have the results that only the very few have. Make sense?
Most people CBA. They may start with good intentions, motivation and enthusiasm but that’s all short-lived.
The honeymoon period ends. The probation period ends. The excuses set in. Old habits die hard. The CBA in you has won. Again.
Stop waiting for the right time to go all in. The right time was yesterday, the next right time is today.
Stop with the search for the magic pill, the secret sauce, the book, the journal, the short-cuts, the coach, the course.
Motivation never lasts. Improved results can refuel it but it’s always a finite source.
The secret sauce is in the going at it with full arsed effort, commitment and consistency. Regardless of how you feel.
Carry on…
by Gary McKendrick | May 16, 2023 | Blog
No one in their right mind chooses to act a certain way which results in a prison sentence.
Yet a lot of us do.
A prison doesn’t necessarily have to be of the jailbird type, locked up in one of HMP’s finest.
We can create our very own prisons and become prisoners of our own lives.
Created as a result of our thinking and doing, of our habits, our attitude and perspective of life.
Created either consciously or unconsciously.
And as that cool guy Carl Jung said:
Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life, and you will call it fate.
Consider this PRISON:
- P = Permanent (how you view your current state or problems)
- R = Resistance (you what you should be doing but you resist change, you stay put because you think change is too hard and you’ll fail anyway)
- I = Isolation (you hide away from the world, from the help and support available and you stay silent)
- S = Seek pleasures (you choose to do the easy things that provide some instant relief but are a negative spiral of doom, be it food, booze, drugs, gambling, shopping)
- O = Outrage (you become angry with yourself, with others and with the world)
- N = Neglect (you neglect the truly important things in life; your health and your relationships, you neglect living)
Now that is a prison. A living prison.
At least in an actual prison there’s an element of care and support, there’s food, there’s wellbeing facilities, support, teaching programs and all the good behaviours are noticed and rewarded; there’s even rehabilitation and leaving a changed person.
But your own living prison is something else; it can be a brutal place and to regain your freedom can seem impossible depending on how deeply in prison you’ve become.
Your freedom is entirely possible though, do not forget and do not lose hope.
No problem is permanent (we’ll always have problems but no one problem is permanent).
And with small courageous steps at first, a day at a time, seeking the support available, you start to break free and one day you’ll look back and be amazed at how far you’ve come and how resilient you are. And you will be able to help others too.
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